Book of Dan

So we are out all night. When we got home Dan was on his porch and he said thanks for finding my dog. Clara said .. ummm sure. We didn’t do anything though. Apparently earlier that day there dog got out of their backyard. There fence on the side had part of the fence broken away (it’s been like this for a year) and the dog just chews and does whatever he can to get out.

So his solution is to use Masking Tape to cover the hole. Mind you the hole in the fence is still there. He covered the front and back of the fence with masking tape. At least he’s thorough

Here are some photos of it in action.

A nice quiet evening in late Summer. Dan had crunched the right front side of their Ford Taurus while driving about two weeks previous. A few days ago their car had come back from the shop looking new.

It is dark outside, probably about 9.30 or 10 pm. Tosh and I are sitting on the sofa by the front door, playing a game of Othello. We are just getting into our second match when an abrupt knock thumps on the door. Startled we jump up and get the door. There stands Dan in all his glory: a stretched out sweatshirt, jeans and his shoulder length hair hangs about his face completely wet - he appears to have just recently stepped out of the shower.

Dan: “Hey, how’s it goin’? I hit your car about an hour ago, thought you might want to come look.”

Clara’s thought ” Uh, YEAH.”

We follow Dan out in front of the house, Tosh carrying a flashlight.

Dan: “It just scuffed the bumper. I can buff it out for you if you like. That should buff out real nice.”

Luckily, it was indeed just a scuff on the bumper. We kindly declined Dan’s offer to buff and said goodnight.

However, Dan’s Ford Taurus wasn’t as lucky.

After we stood looking at our scuff, Tosh and I looked at Dan’s car. The same right front side that had just been repaired was dented in, and it is still dented in to this day. We were lucky though, our scuff buffed out real nice!

First off let me explain something. They have no garden. They “had” a front yard of grass at one point. They never water anything either. Now it’s just weeds, and random patches of grass. Also their entire front yard is about 30 sq feet.

So early summer Dan got the urge to water the weeds, so he went outside with his shirt off and watered the weeds for a few minutes and went inside. That’s the only time anything was watered in their yard that year. Then later in the summer months, he came out with some huge hedge clippers and randomly cut the weeds. Then he went inside after a few minutes of work. May I add they he just left everything he just cut laying on the ground. I thought, “Huh, guess he’s going to pick those up later”. But weeks and weeks went by and they sat in the exact same spot.

Jan (Dan’s Wife) said they wanted to chop out all the Roses because the colors were strange. So we asked them if we could have their climbing rose. So I dug it out and transplanted it into our yard. While we where at it, we cleaned all the weeds he cut and left on the ground a couple months ago and threw them away. Plus their porch has 2 wooden chairs, a old stereo, a fan, leaves from previous years, etc. So we cleaned that up as well, because it’s been like that for over 3 years in the exact same spot.

I looked out the back window to see Dan in the backyard with a garden hose spraying off a little 2 foot plastic table. So I thought, “Guess he has some plans for the table later”. Then I walked away, but I check back on Dan off and on. He’ll still going at it, spraying it from all angles. He was spraying for about a half hour.

Finally he felt satisfied with his cleaning abilities and went inside and left the table where it stood. The table has not moved since. It’s in exactly the same spot almost a year later, and it’s never been used.

So the night before there was a party across the street, and when we went to the store somebody took our spot, so we parked in the office parking next store for the night.

The next day I happen to look out the window and see Dan backing in. But it should have been really easy because the curb area out there is wide enough for 2 cars and he had it all to himself.

So I see him pull forward look over his shoulder and back up. Hits the curb and drives up onto it, not just a little mind you. Probably a foot or so onto the grass. He backs up the full length of the car before he notices that he’s not parked correctly.

So he tries again.

Drives over curb.
Rubs tires against curb, pretty hard too.
Drives over curb.
Drives over curb.
Drives over curb.
Drives over curb.
Rubs tires against curb
Drives over curb.
Drives over curb.
Drives over curb.
Success!!

He makes parks it correctly, he is finally satisfied with his parking and gets out. What was strange is when he pulled forward he was perfectly straight, he just angled it back over the curb over and over. Also who knows how long he was trying to back up before I looked outside.